Posts tagged ‘Time’

fear

The challenge of Day 12, by Lachlan CotterIs fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self expressed? Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel? [Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes? ]


 ”Is fear holding me back? […]

My easiest answer would be check out my answer to prompt #9 and prompt #8. It sums it up pretty much. I have also written about, in earlier posts, where I find myself in this moment of time in my life, as a caterpillar in a cocoon waiting to emerge after the transformation to a butterfly. So to write again about fear. Please, give me a break. It took a lot from me to write what I did. It feels so repetitive.


 […] Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?

Truthfully, I can’t imagine myself BEING less than I am, but that doesn’t mean I am fully “I”. But how do I know when I am really I? Is there such a thing as a completion of one’s Self? Is there an end to that road, of exploration of self-knowledge and discovery? I do believe that is what we do. We discover ourselves as we live our lives. We are a walking and breathing potentials of extraordinary proportions that we have no knowledge the scale of. I am a work-in-progress and will hopefully continue to discover my greatness, my shortcomings, my fullness, my emptiness, my talents, my ignorance, my heart and my soul with each breath I take. I will inhale and I will exhale. Sometimes consciously and with intent, and sometimes rather blindly without awareness of whom I am. With each moment of my life, I contribute to the collective learning. It’s a legacy of itself. That is why it’s crucial to Know Thyself. How do you impact the world and the evolution through who you are? Get to know yourself deeply.

 

 […]Will the blunder matter in 10 years, 10 weeks?[…] 

I suppose this prompt is about accomplishments and achievements and that we shouldn’t hold our selves back from being audacious. If I hold myself back throughout my life, my whole life, that blunder would be very tragic and it would matter. It would contribute to the collective learning of human evolution, maybe not towards greatness but towards littleness. Is that good or bad? Most of us might say it would be bad, including I, because we only have a limited amount of time in our lives. We are a species capable of creating heaven and hell on earth, holding the power to determine the future for all species co-existing with us in our hands. Instead of investing or putting our time on things that doesn’t matter and are destructive, we should put use of it to serve the betterment of others and ourselves. You know the saying; lost time can never be retrieved.

So I began to think of time; is time linear? No I don’t think so. Time is spiral, if anything. We live repetitive because we like to recognise the familiar. We experience the seasons every year, the Mondays every week, the night and days and so on. But it isn’t exactly the same ever. Each day that passes will never come again exactly as it was before. Every second does count. Every moment is important. Do we have to be stressed about it? Well, no. But we are. What if we miss out what is supposed to come our way? How much time do we have to live the life we want? As much as we are given and sometimes what we want is not what we need, it’s not what humanity needs.

 

 […]Now do. The thing. You fear.

How are genuine pearls created? It must first be noted that a real pearl comes about by chance – without any human interference.  It is not a normal behaviour of the mussel to create a pearl. It’s more about protecting themselves against something that has entered the mussel. Parasites in the form of worms or larvae penetrate the mussel, which tries to bump them out. If this fails, the mussel encapsulates the stranger. In order for a pearl to be formed it requires that the parasite has with it a fragment of mussel mantle tissue. This tissue cell divides, and after about ten days, a sack is formed around the parasite. Then the mussel “weaves” layer upon layer and so forms a true pearl.

Now replace the word mussel with soul, pearl with consciousness, parasites with challenges and mussel mantle tissue with ego. Read the story again and you have evolution of human consciousness. So my fear I am already doing; I work to not become overcome by parasites but instead weave layer upon layer of my experiences into a higher level of me – the pearl. I didn’t think of myself before #Trust30 as particular integrated or aligned with myself or that I was especially spiritually evolved. But since I made the commitment to write every day for 30 days, I have discovered that I actually am much more congruent and aligned than I gave myself credit for. Like the pearl under creation, my evolution takes time.

Will my existence matter in 100 years? Will my blunders matter in 10 years? Will my greatness matter in 10 months? Will I matter in 10 seconds? Absolutely. In the smallest scale I can think of, but also in the biggest scale I can think of. But not in the way my narrow egotistical mind would like to think; that I should fear humiliation, should strive for perfection, should think that the universe evolves around me, myself and I. So let’s do a time perception experiment.

Universe is, what we know today, 13 billion years old. If we shrink it one billion times, so that the history of the Universe can fit into just 13 years, we get a very interesting scale. On this scale, our Earth would have been formed 5 years ago. The first multi-celled organisms would have evolved 7 months ago. After flourishing for several weeks, the dinosaurs would have been wiped out by an asteroid impact about three weeks ago. The first hominines would have appeared about three days ago and our own species just 53 minutes ago. The first agriculturalists would have flourished about 5 minutes ago and the first agrarian civilizations would have appeared just 3 minutes ago. Modern industrial societies would have existed for just 6 seconds.

In that scale the modern humans have only lived for a blink of an eye, but since we have evolved into a species of high complexity and high energy we are significant even in cosmological scales. We evolve. We change. We live. We die. We are part of the universal dance of creation. While I have time, I will participate with everything I got inside me. If I fall, or fail, I will allow myself to feel whatever pain or fear I experience. But I will however dust myself off, encapsulate whatever worm I meet and integrate that experience into my soul, turn it into a pearl and continue to be a flux of evolution-ness and share what I have learned. And fear is part of it.

What pearl of knowledge do you create? What do you know for sure?

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my personal message

The challenge of Day 10, by Eric Handler: [What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?]

A video that reminds me of my words, thoughts and feelings are found here.

five years

The challenge of Day 8, by Corbett Barr: [What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?]

Dear Me, it's me, I am back from the future...

<–rewind

Dear Me, it’s me. I whisper to you from the future. I see you here five years before my time. You’re lost, tired, worn out as a crackled vessel that’s been emptied out of its elixir. You carry pain and inner turmoil. You question everything; yourself, life, love, if you can ever trust anything again because it is all illusions anyway. You feel like you don’t have anything to give. But most of all you question your heart.

So I whisper to you that you are called into a mystery and that is necessary to be empty. I whisper that the darkness and heaviness you feel will change into joy as soon as you learn to let go. You are so strong, stronger than you need to be. You confuse vulnerability with weakness. But I know that you can’t cover up you heart and stand in your truth at the same time.

So I whisper that you will need to live with confusion and darkness, beyond your control and will, for a time. I whisper that it’s of importance that you do, because from this experience you will shine. From this experience I will emerge. You will question what’s happening and be angry about it. You will fight it. But you will surrender to it. Trust me, I know.

You will learn to treasure this time as an alchemical transformation. You will be grateful for its gifts. You will regard this time of your life as a crossroad where you chose to go into the unknown head on and without guarantees. You will be brave about it even if you feel like a coward and a wuss. But the lead you feel will turn to the gold in you. You are an extraordinary and beautiful person with so much to give and share. In time you will see that. In time you will emerge and walk among people again. You will be the same but yet so different.

So hear what I know: You will enter the desert. You will struggle. You will find the treasure you lost. That treasure is you. And I will whisper from afar that I always love you.

–>fastforward

Dear Me, it’s me. I whisper to you from the past. Can you hear me from five years ago? Do you remember where I was? I just wanted to say one thing: I am so proud of who you have become. I want you to know I didn’t regret anything and I am happy that neither do you. You give and you receive. You live your life to the fullest. And I whispered from afar I always loved you.

come alive

The challenge of Day 6, by Jonathan Mead: [If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? Resolve to only do what makes you come alive. How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?]

A great writer (Mark Twain) said a great thing once, which I’ve taken to heart. It’s a little something to live by, to have as a guiding star, to remember when life is hard to live, to keep as a promise to myself, to use as a painter uses his brushes to express the essence of life. So my dear friends who read this; if I only have one week, one hour or three hundred years left… when it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter really how long time I’ve got. I want to:

“Dance like nobody’s watching. Love like I’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening. Live like it’s heaven on earth.”

Being a caterpillar inside of a cocoon, waiting to become a butterfly, the best way for me to improve my present moment, is to stop force the direction of change itself. Sometimes the greatest work I do is not visible to others. Some things are just meant for me. But when I emerge again from solitude, hopefully there is someone to witness that I have changed, that alchemical process of transformation that I have gone through. But if not, I am still changed, I am still beautiful. So dance little sisters, dance. Sing little brothers, sing. Live like it’s heaven on earth.

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Looking at the images I remember that I can be foolishly playful at times. 

travel

The challenge of Day 5, by Chris Guillebeau: [Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?]

The earth is an extraordinary place, the one island in Universe we can’t move from, at least not yet. I have visited places, met people and mostly felt at ease wherever I have been. I want to continue to see many more places, countries, people, cultures in my lifetime. I hope to see more of my dream destinations, but will be happy if not. To fulfil my wish, I strive to make money working for me and not the other way around which makes it easier to travel and spend a longer time in a place or travel more often. Here are some places I would like to visit:

VICTORIA FALLS, Zambia | HALONG BAY, Vietnam | ANGKOR WAT, Cambodia | PATAGONIA, Chile | PETRA, JordanCHINESE WALL, China  |

But when I die I think the most important place to be is ”home”; to be at peace with my life and myself. I want to know that I lived a life not holding back, that I loved and was loved, leaving the world and people in a better shape than I found them.

today

The challenge of Day 2, by Liz Danzico: [If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence?]

15 minutes to live

The challenge of Day 1, by Gwen Bell: [You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live. Set the timer for fifteen minutes. Write the story that has to be written] 

Life. Extraordinary. Lonely. Isolated. Shut in. Dying. Transform. Change. 

I am dying and I know there’s nothing I can do about it. Ever since I shut myself in, I have always known that I wouldn’t come out of this alive. Today is the day I will leave. Today I will die. I can feel it. Soon. The wind is gently rocking my home as an encouragement to leave. I can’t look outside though, I have no windows, but that doesn’t matter. I feel different today. I have spent so much time inside I have forgotten how it is out there. Could I have a few more days or a few more hours? No, I feel death entering my body. Soon there will be no more I. Distance. I feel distant from myself as I am preparing to enter something new. I have no knowledge of what to expect. Soon I will know.

Anxiety. Silence. Knowledge. Death. Alter. Stretch out. Break out. Love.

There. It’s done. I died. Yet I live. I left my cocoon and transformed into a butterfly. So we never really die, do we? We are a constant creation of change, from one form into another. Fly high, my friends and never be afraid of who you are and can become. 

“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively. You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” – Trina Paulus

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