alive-est

The challenge of Day 28, by Sam Davidson: [When did you feel most alive recently? Where were you? What did you smell? What sights and sounds did you experience? Capture that moment on paper and recall that feeling. Then, when it’s time to create something, read your own words to reclaim a sense of being to motivate you to complete a task at hand.]

“Getting wiser in life you will” 

An archery teacher’s lesson on how to become one with what is.

Goddess of Wilderness / Huntress of Forage

”Don’t hold the bow so tight”. I am at the archery club for my third time and had just aimed for the target hundred feet away. ”Try to barely hold it at all” he said as he stood diagonally behind me. The teacher was old in the game. He had shot archery for 52 years. He was quite short, had white hair and fingers that seemed casted in a different mould, like resilient and flexible timber. He took my elbow and showed me that I had to pull back my arm all the way so my hand was at the same level as my ear.

“And use three fingers to hold the string. You seem a natural at this, but the trick is to hold the bow lightly” he said and let go of my elbow. “Don’t focus on the target itself, then you lose your ability to relax and let go. Don’t force your will upon the arrow; don’t try to ‘make’ it hit the target, because then you are going to miss it for sure”. I absorbed his words and felt as if no one else was in the room. I felt as a goddess roaming in wilderness or a huntress foraging for food. I thought of my grandfather who hunted. He said it is important the rifle becomes a part of one’s body, one’s arm. If not, you get tense and may hit the animal in a way that forces the animal to die an unnecessary painful death.

“Focus on how your body is facing the target. Then your breathing, your arm, your sight on the arrow and how you stand with your feet will become one with the arrow, the bow and the string and thus part of you. Make a ritual every time you aim with an arrow; inhale, exhale, relax, tighten the string and let go of it. Then let the arrow do its work.” he said and moved away to the left side beside me. I closed my eyes and took a breath and did the steps he said and all scattered fragmented crystal pieces of my Self became fused into one whole piece. I felt very much alive and made into one with something greater than myself.

“Feel it, don’t focus so much on the arrow, the bow is strong enough”. I tightened the string, looked through the sight on the bow and let go. I hit the bulls-eye in the middle of the target three times in a row. This was a symbolic and intuitive moment for me. I ‘saw’ how to connect the dots in my life. If the bow is my soul, the string is my stamina, the arrow is my intention or truth and the target is my change (longing, dream, aspiration and so on) then lesson with my archery teacher was a sort of initiation to higher perception.

So let’s do an interpretation:

”Don’t hold the soul (bow) so tight. Try to barely hold it at all”

“And use three fingers to hold the stamina (string). You seem a natural at this, but the trick is to hold the soul (bow) lightly. Don’t focus on the change (target) itself, then you lose your ability to relax and let go. Don’t force your will upon the intention/truth (arrow); don’t try to ‘make’ it hit the change (target), because then you are going to miss it for sure”.

Focus on how your Self (body) is facing the change (target). Then your breathing, your arm, your sight on the arrow and how you stand with your feet will become one with the intention/truth (arrow), the soul (bow) and your stamina (the string) and thus part of you. Make a ritual every time you aim with an intention/truth (arrow); inhale, exhale, relax, tighten the stamina (string) and let go of it. Then let the intention/truth (arrow) do its work.”

“Feel it, don’t focus so much on the intention/truth (arrow), the soul bow is strong enough.”

There are many situations in my life where I feel alive – good moments and in bad:

• each morning I wake up to my boy friend’s word “ I love you”. I am a very wealthy woman in that respect.

• when I have an engaging conversation even if it’s provocative

• when I listen to people who needs someone to talk to and ‘see’ them and I am good at that. It’s a In’Lakesh exchange;  I am another you (Mayan greeting)

• when my kids hug me for no other reason than they want to

• when I feel angry and outraged by ignorance, but can let go if it

• when I have an urge to poke an idiot’s eyes out, but resist because I know I am judgmental  (even if I am, of course, right! 🙂 )

• when I cry for any reason I can think of

• when I learn new things, even hard learnt lessons. I want to learn and seek and gain deeper knowledge about life itself.

• when I perceive myself capable of being in between time scales; that I can analyse the past, dream about the future but stay in the present because it’s where the action really is.

• when I realise, in hindsight, that my dark night of my soul was and is a process of ‘emptying out’, so I can be filled with tremendous, deep-seated and bright life force. Not necessarily a situation I had thought of as an alive-est moment before writing this, but it was and is.

The trick is ‘Don’t hold on to the soul so tightly, it’s strong enough’. That was an ‘alive-est’ soul lesson from an old master of archery on how to become one with what is. It’s really about Self Reliance.

 

 

enthusiasm

The challenge of Day 22, by Mars Dorian: [How can you bring MORE enthusiasm into your work? What do you have to think or believe about your work to be totally excited about it?] Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

THE TOUCH OF FLOW?

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Inspiration = Passion = Fascination = Ardour = Zest = Fire within = Flow

I am not sure where I want to go with this. Because enthusiasm is not where my heart vibrates. Originally, an enthusiast was seen as a person possessed by a god. In contemporary usage, enthusiasm has lost its meaning to someone who is over excited. Flow, however is a state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus and full involvement.

Thus I would rather be in the flow than enthusiastic. I’d rather be inspired and inspirational than over excited. Within enthusiasm lies an anticipation of results that I think can flip you upside down if not careful. When I am inspired, I am immersed in the moment, within the action and fully participating with no focus on the final result. I can be enthusiastic, but it passes. When I’m inspired I am in the zone, almost forgetting food, sleep and time. Sure I can’t be in that ‘place’ all the time, but inspiration puts fascination on the table. I can be so fascinated by what I focus on and feel in the moment and fascination awakens motivation. It’s a zest for life that it’s almost palpable. It’s sensuous, almost sexual in its core. It’s Bernini’s sculpture “Theresa’s ecstasy”.

My inspiration has a very physical sensation to it. It’s like making love with that out of the ordinary intensity, which transports you deep within to your very centre and out towards the weightlessness of universe at the same time. It can be above the waist, it can be below the waist, it can be soft, it can be rough. Either way, it fills you with force. I haven’t felt inspired for a long time – 10 years probably. I used to be a very creative person. Let’s just say I perceive creativity as a life force and to lose connection to that essence has been devastating. Today I listen to a song (quite new) and it hit me that the lyrics described the nature of my inspiration. I will take you through parts of the lyrics and give example of my in the zone moments I have experienced.

[…] Your touch magnetizing, Feels like I am floating, Leaves my body glowing [..]

“It’s 1984 and it is my turn to enter the stage. My heart’s pounding and my hands are shaking. I am listening to the presenter announcing my name. I made it to the finals. I am dancing before 800 people. The crowd is roaring and I enter the stage. I give the performance of my dancing life. I fuse with a force, so strong that I have no awareness of myself. I am One with the music that has inspired me since childhood and my body take me to new heights. I win.”

It was an in-the-Zone-moment and I loved it and felt alive.

[…] A different dimension, You open my eyes, And I’m ready to go, Lead me into the light [..]

“It’s 1999 and it’s 4.30 am in the morning. I stand on a cliff waiting for the sunrise. I discuss with the cameraman about the camera angles he’s going to shoot. It’s raining and it’s a bit cold. The actors are being dressed in the trailer. My daughters are still sleeping in my car under supervision. I feel blessed that I, as a single mum, can do what I do. One of the assistants gives me a cup of coffee and the rain increases and I start to laugh. I realise that I live my dream. I love standing in pouring rain, with cold coffee in my hand waiting to start filming. I have worked very hard to make it happen against all odds.”

It was an in-the-Zone-moment and I loved it and felt alive.

[…]Kiss me, kiss me, Infect me with your love and Fill me with your poison[…]

“It’s 2000 and I look in my daughter’s green eyes. They are filled with excited anticipation and love. She is 6 years old and is in every way amazing. “Will you, Mum?” she says again. She wants me to tell a bedtime story that I make up while I am telling it. She puts away the book by Grimm Brothers and cuddle up inside my arms. Then we put out the lamp and I take her far and away to a magical land of possibilities where children can fly and meet fantastic creatures and conquer monsters. Right before she falls asleep she says: “Mum, I love you. Please remember to continue the story tomorrow!”

It was an in-the-Zone-moment and I loved it and felt alive.

[…]I wanna walk on your wave length, And be there when you vibrate, For you I’ll risk it all[…]

“It’s 2011 and it’s 6.55 am and I am not sure how I will address today’s prompt. I had a bad day yesterday, questioning the use of it all; what the hell I am doing and my worth. But I start to write about enthusiasm, trying to give a ‘clever’ answer, trying to be toned down like a dimmer. Then – HELL NO! I stop. I go for a walk by the sea instead thinking of what I should write. I have no clue but I feel a fire that I want to express. I don’t feel enthusiastic, but vibrant.

I come home. I start over. And this is what I came up with, this is what vibrates in my heart. This is what I long for, this is ME. When touched by the flow I risk it all – no fear, no lack, no cleverness. Only flow.

That’s the iron string my heart vibrates to. That is what I long for. That is how I make love to inspiration.

(The song is “E.T” by Katy Perry. The genre might not suit you but it’s the lyrics that’s important. Notice how she looks like “Theresa’s Ecstasy” in the slide show above.)