Posts tagged ‘Death’

overcoming uncertainty

The challenge of Day 29, by Sean Ogle: [Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.”]

© Adam Hughes "Snowbunny Padme and Yoda"

I read a quote somewhere (I forgot who it was, sorry!); ”Fear is just growth coming to get you”, and what I add to that quote is that fear is part of our intuitive system which resides in our right brain and should be listen to. Note, I said listen to, not ruled or governed by fear. To succumb to fear can be very paralysing, but perceived as a guide it’s a great teacher, if we dare to listen. Most of our experiences are about personal growth. I have found myself in absolutely fearful situations where fear is an adequate reaction, but mostly my fear portrays my resistance against change.

It’s not personal Mr Ogle, but I won’t jot down one major goal and attach 3 ‘fears’ and 3 ‘reasons’ for each fear to overcome whatever uncertainty I perceive. That’s enough of that in this #Trust30 challenge. Dark Night of my Soul will absolutely suffice in that respect. It’s not a major goal per se, but the profound knowledge and insights that comes with it is. Dark Night is all about confusion and uncertainty and one shouldn’t take it lightly, not at all. Anyone who experienced it knows what I talk about. I lived and breathed uncertainty, confusion and fear as almost palpable, and oh so insisting, friends in that type of darkness. I wanted to ‘die’, so I could live. It’s awful and is all-consuming and during this Ralph Waldo Emerson challenge I see that I have come a long way towards a new dawn. It’s a process and I think I’ll write a book instead or create a seminar, as a fellow writer suggested.

But what I will do, when uncertain and fearful, is to read my post ‘Alive-est’ again and again and say:   Getting wiser in my life I will

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


15 minutes to live

The challenge of Day 1, by Gwen Bell: [You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live. Set the timer for fifteen minutes. Write the story that has to be written] 

Life. Extraordinary. Lonely. Isolated. Shut in. Dying. Transform. Change. 

I am dying and I know there’s nothing I can do about it. Ever since I shut myself in, I have always known that I wouldn’t come out of this alive. Today is the day I will leave. Today I will die. I can feel it. Soon. The wind is gently rocking my home as an encouragement to leave. I can’t look outside though, I have no windows, but that doesn’t matter. I feel different today. I have spent so much time inside I have forgotten how it is out there. Could I have a few more days or a few more hours? No, I feel death entering my body. Soon there will be no more I. Distance. I feel distant from myself as I am preparing to enter something new. I have no knowledge of what to expect. Soon I will know.

Anxiety. Silence. Knowledge. Death. Alter. Stretch out. Break out. Love.

There. It’s done. I died. Yet I live. I left my cocoon and transformed into a butterfly. So we never really die, do we? We are a constant creation of change, from one form into another. Fly high, my friends and never be afraid of who you are and can become. 

“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively. You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” – Trina Paulus

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