Archive for the ‘Enthusiasm’ Category

image

The bonus? challenge Day 31, by Matthew Stillman: [Mess up your hair. If you are wearing makeup – smudge it. If you have a pair of pants that don’t really fit you – put them on. Put on a top that doesn’t go with those pants. Go to your sock drawer. Pull out two socks that don’t match. Different lengths, materials, colours, elasticity […] Take a picture. Get ready to post it online. Are you feeling dread? Excitement? Is this not the image you have of yourself? Write about the fear or the thrill that this raises in you? Who do you need to look good for and what story does it tell about you? Or why don’t you care?]

Ministry of Self Reliance

Seriously, is this woman really an aspiring writer?! @2010 T. Jorgensen

All of us misunderstand and are misunderstood. If not by others, so help me God, by our selves. We don’t have to be geniuses to be and do that. Take this prompt for example; Trust30 says 30 days of writing, so yesterday was a closure for those of us that had reached challenge 30. We said our goodbyes and complimented each other for having ‘hung in there’ and some felt, as yours truly, exhilarated to have started to see them selves as a writer prospect.

This morning I stretched out in my bed with a fantastic image of myself. “Goddamn, I feel good about myself. I had actually done it; I wrote for 30 days in a row and enjoyed every bit of it. I got out of bed, had breakfast, and started to write about my next post, which was a sort of answer to a comment I got on one of my posts. I wrote and I wrote and then I felt the urge to see what the Ralph Waldo Emerson site said about the project.

What? Another prompt?” What can I tell you, I felt stupid (Don’t I know how to count?!), then a bit annoyed (don’t THEY know how to count?!) and then rebellious (nope, I am NOT going to write about this!) and then rather entertained (Is this The Domino Project’s way to let us know that they are great and so are we, because we misunderstood?) Don’t know and frankly don’t care that much either, I am in a writing spree, so shoot, “Let’s write!” I feel very self-reliant while I write this. 🙂

Take a picture?!” Well, my self-image is VERY differentiated, it depends on what mood I’m in: goofy / funky / ugly / sexy / totally undesirable / beautiful / tall / short / fat / thin / funny / boring / intelligent / stupid / young / old / all / nothing / alien / human… I wouldn’t know where to begin. I have no trouble to look silly, be silly, act silly, talk silly and even walk silly, if I am in the mood. Life is too short to not have fun, as they say. True, but sometimes we aren’t able to play. As I’ve written before, my dark night of the soul is no fun or silly. But just for today, let’s seriously play! I will walk sillier, talk sillier, and look sillier so I can embrace the freedom of being capable to laugh at my self and others, not to humiliate or be humiliated but just to acknowledge I AM what I AM. So what if I am misunderstood or misunderstand?! I feel alive and it’s been a long time coming! In’Lakesh and let the fun begin!

Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

enthusiasm

The challenge of Day 22, by Mars Dorian: [How can you bring MORE enthusiasm into your work? What do you have to think or believe about your work to be totally excited about it?] Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

THE TOUCH OF FLOW?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Inspiration = Passion = Fascination = Ardour = Zest = Fire within = Flow

I am not sure where I want to go with this. Because enthusiasm is not where my heart vibrates. Originally, an enthusiast was seen as a person possessed by a god. In contemporary usage, enthusiasm has lost its meaning to someone who is over excited. Flow, however is a state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus and full involvement.

Thus I would rather be in the flow than enthusiastic. I’d rather be inspired and inspirational than over excited. Within enthusiasm lies an anticipation of results that I think can flip you upside down if not careful. When I am inspired, I am immersed in the moment, within the action and fully participating with no focus on the final result. I can be enthusiastic, but it passes. When I’m inspired I am in the zone, almost forgetting food, sleep and time. Sure I can’t be in that ‘place’ all the time, but inspiration puts fascination on the table. I can be so fascinated by what I focus on and feel in the moment and fascination awakens motivation. It’s a zest for life that it’s almost palpable. It’s sensuous, almost sexual in its core. It’s Bernini’s sculpture “Theresa’s ecstasy”.

My inspiration has a very physical sensation to it. It’s like making love with that out of the ordinary intensity, which transports you deep within to your very centre and out towards the weightlessness of universe at the same time. It can be above the waist, it can be below the waist, it can be soft, it can be rough. Either way, it fills you with force. I haven’t felt inspired for a long time – 10 years probably. I used to be a very creative person. Let’s just say I perceive creativity as a life force and to lose connection to that essence has been devastating. Today I listen to a song (quite new) and it hit me that the lyrics described the nature of my inspiration. I will take you through parts of the lyrics and give example of my in the zone moments I have experienced.

[…] Your touch magnetizing, Feels like I am floating, Leaves my body glowing [..]

“It’s 1984 and it is my turn to enter the stage. My heart’s pounding and my hands are shaking. I am listening to the presenter announcing my name. I made it to the finals. I am dancing before 800 people. The crowd is roaring and I enter the stage. I give the performance of my dancing life. I fuse with a force, so strong that I have no awareness of myself. I am One with the music that has inspired me since childhood and my body take me to new heights. I win.”

It was an in-the-Zone-moment and I loved it and felt alive.

[…] A different dimension, You open my eyes, And I’m ready to go, Lead me into the light [..]

“It’s 1999 and it’s 4.30 am in the morning. I stand on a cliff waiting for the sunrise. I discuss with the cameraman about the camera angles he’s going to shoot. It’s raining and it’s a bit cold. The actors are being dressed in the trailer. My daughters are still sleeping in my car under supervision. I feel blessed that I, as a single mum, can do what I do. One of the assistants gives me a cup of coffee and the rain increases and I start to laugh. I realise that I live my dream. I love standing in pouring rain, with cold coffee in my hand waiting to start filming. I have worked very hard to make it happen against all odds.”

It was an in-the-Zone-moment and I loved it and felt alive.

[…]Kiss me, kiss me, Infect me with your love and Fill me with your poison[…]

“It’s 2000 and I look in my daughter’s green eyes. They are filled with excited anticipation and love. She is 6 years old and is in every way amazing. “Will you, Mum?” she says again. She wants me to tell a bedtime story that I make up while I am telling it. She puts away the book by Grimm Brothers and cuddle up inside my arms. Then we put out the lamp and I take her far and away to a magical land of possibilities where children can fly and meet fantastic creatures and conquer monsters. Right before she falls asleep she says: “Mum, I love you. Please remember to continue the story tomorrow!”

It was an in-the-Zone-moment and I loved it and felt alive.

[…]I wanna walk on your wave length, And be there when you vibrate, For you I’ll risk it all[…]

“It’s 2011 and it’s 6.55 am and I am not sure how I will address today’s prompt. I had a bad day yesterday, questioning the use of it all; what the hell I am doing and my worth. But I start to write about enthusiasm, trying to give a ‘clever’ answer, trying to be toned down like a dimmer. Then – HELL NO! I stop. I go for a walk by the sea instead thinking of what I should write. I have no clue but I feel a fire that I want to express. I don’t feel enthusiastic, but vibrant.

I come home. I start over. And this is what I came up with, this is what vibrates in my heart. This is what I long for, this is ME. When touched by the flow I risk it all – no fear, no lack, no cleverness. Only flow.

That’s the iron string my heart vibrates to. That is what I long for. That is how I make love to inspiration.

(The song is “E.T” by Katy Perry. The genre might not suit you but it’s the lyrics that’s important. Notice how she looks like “Theresa’s Ecstasy” in the slide show above.)

%d bloggers like this: