facing (and fearing)

The challenge of Day 19, by Dan Andrews: Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. [If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:]

Intuition. I love that word. In Wikipedia you find this explanation: “The word ‘intuition’ comes from the Latin word ‘intueri’, which is often roughly translated as meaning ‘to look inside’’ or ‘to contemplate’.”  To me it means to stay present to what resides inside you and listen with your heart and not your ears. That ‘voice’ is true more often than not. And yet, we tend to not hear it at all. The voice of Ego has a much stronger high-pitched voice and easily drowns our intuitive one.

Question One: “What are the costs of inaction?”

It depends. Sometimes the best action to take is to not do anything. Just to be still and be brave enough to wait. I have certainly done me share of outrunning myself through action, action and action. But I think I am more equipped today to ask myself better questions, listen to what my heart has to say and have more guts to not always try to “fix” whatever I perceive is broken. So how do I discern if I have to act or not? My spiritual mentor helped me with framing a question; “If I walk away from this, will I walk away sad in my heart?” And it has helped me. Whenever I want to act on or turn away from something I ask myself that and the answers are so intuitively correct I have begun to listen them. It’s the most important voice I have. One of the most life changing acts I have done, was to surrender to inaction. I ‘sat’ myself down on an inner stone within myself and waited for my soul to catch up and start to speak to me.That’s been going on for several years now but I am up and walking again so to say. Another life changing act was to act and sign up for this #trust30 challenge. I did it without examination, or trying to find the flaws, or think of the possibility of failure or humiliation, I just put myself in the hands of the unknown and in hind sight I can say that had I not, I would very likely still be in agony of the unexpressed creativity and yearnings in me that needs to see the day of light.

Question Two: “What kind of person do I want to be?”

Congruent. I want to be a congruent person. I want to mean what I say and say what I mean. I think it’s much harder than I think, due to all the lies I am capable of telling myself. It’s not about to never being afraid, that’s one hell of utopia. I will be afraid. That’s okay and necessary. Fear can be a very good teacher, guide and an intuitive poke showing you that you need to get clear about yourself. Fear can absolutely be crippling too. I have experienced it, as most of us have one way or another. But Steven Pressfield says: (I know I have quoted this as comments to some of my #trust30 friends before) “ We all live two lives. The one we live and the unlived life within. In between lies Resistance.” I find that brilliantly put. And the resistance could take the form of fear. But to be congruent is to be whole, integrated and true to what’s me. Yes, of course I want to be loving, compassionate, brave, tremendously creative, to be of service to others and healthy in mind, body and soul. But to be that I have to be fully congruent and that takes deep soul-searching and is a life long commitment.

Question Three: “In the event of failure, could I generate an alternative positive outcome?”

Absolutely. When bad, hard, outrageously challenging things happen  it might very hard to look at the situation through the lens of positivity and graciously embrace the lesson. As I look back on my life and my decisions I am more likely able to do that. I have had my hard knock experiences; bankruptcy, dark night of my soul, threats of violent nature, dealing with a tumour in my breast (which turned out benign, thank god), humiliation, disappointments and the list continues. But even if I won’t remember in a specific moment that I am going through a lesson, because I am busy experience it, I am a firm believer of that there aren’t really mistakes in life, only lessons. And I will continue to believe so, even if there will be days I’ll question what I just wrote.

And to end this prompt I just want to say that I think we face fear much more than we give ourselves credit for; we pick up the phone and make that uncomfortable call, we walk on to a stage even if we want turn around and run, we say our opinion in an business meeting fearing we will be rejected. We confront our fears often, maybe in small versions, but still. It’s when it takes you hostage it becomes dangerous to your soul, when it keeps you in the loop of spiritual scarcity . Fear is part of the human equation, and sometimes is sounds like we shouldnt have fear, that’s somehow bad to experience fear. It’s not as long as we can look at it as intuitive guidance and not something to fear.

So don’t fear the reaper. Fear it’s just growth coming to get you.

Comments on: "facing (and fearing)" (18)

  1. Great post as usual!! But, for me my favorite part is your answer to Question two: CONGRUENT. I love it. “I want to mean what I say and say what I mean”. This is hard for me…I have the knowledge in my brain, can write about it, but cannot put it into my daily living. It is very hard, is it not?
    I also like your quote by Stephen Pressfield. Thanks for sharing! Take care.
    Peace, Nico

  2. I forgot to thank you for your comment and the picture! I love it…saved it in my pics!

  3. Nico, thank you. Yes, it’s hard to live and be congruent. We get tangled up with our reactions to what happens and we tend to believe that these reactions are true. It takes some perseverance to get out of our heads and live through our hearts. But it is possible.

    xox, Michi

  4. You live in Sweden but you ‘sound’ as if English is your native language. Are you Swedish with remarkable good English skills, or are you English/USA and just happen to live in Sweden?

    I learn a lot from your inspiring thoughts and visions. Thanks for that.

    • Hey, mr Warvis, I am Swedish and am delightful that you find my English good enough. I can be a bit critical towards my English, but as I go along with the RWE challenge I train my writing skills. Thank you for commenting it.

      Ps. thank you for the message, I will respond later.

      In’Lakesh, Mayan study friend🙂

  5. Flo McAfee said:

    This is a thoroughly open and heartfelt post that takes a lot of guts to write and reveal. Thank you. I so often take time to do nothing—to simply be still, wait and listen. I share your reason for participating in #Trust30: “I would very likely still be in agony of the unexpressed creativity and yearnings in me that needs to see the day of light.”. Love the photos, too.

    • Flo, thank you. I think it’s imperative to learn to be still, to be listening to your inner voice. I am glad that you are part of this too. It’s so inspiring to read others writings and be part of that connection. It’s wonderful and has worked wonders to my creativity.🙂

  6. magdis said:

    ….”due to all the lies I am capable of telling myself.” Hit the nailhead here Michi, isn’t that fantastic how we can fool ourselves and go for miles in a lie (ok maybe not “lie” but – modified truth…) without even realizing it? Then all of a sudden, something gets us back on track and it’s so easy to see what mist we’ve sprayed ourselves with?
    But I guess that makes us human – I don’t think it matters how we evolve and develope spiritually, we will still get lost in the maze every now and then🙂 .
    Hugs to you, brave spirit !!!!

    • Ahh, Magdis, the mist of deception. I agree, we will get lost in ‘there’ once in a while. Part of human experience. Thank you, peaceful warrior. Heaps of love your way🙂

  7. So much has been shared and said so well here, both in the post and the comments. I will add but one thing; Don’t you love, dear Michi, that as you “put yourself in the hands of the unknown,” you discovered that those are very loving hands indeed? Look at what you have attracted here to yourself (through yourSelf!)

    The world loves you. YOUR world adores you! Bask in that and enjoy…

    Namaste.
    Rich

    • Rich, dear Rich, I will bask in that and am enjoying myself to the fullest. Thank you. There’s a book that I like “When you are falling, Dive” by Mark Matousek and I have used the title in a story I have written, but it’s when we hold on too tightly to things we experience pain and even suffering. But if we dive into the hands of the unknown, some would say into the hands of God, we can experience and feel liberated and free.
      Yes, the hands of the unknown can be very loving indeed.

      In’Lakesh

  8. Excellent post … I didn’t get one written for this prompt yet, hope to get to it soon. For some reason, guess because it was such a long prompt, it overwhelmed me to even start.
    You did a great job … love this!

    • Thank you, Janet. Yes, I felt it was a long prompt but then I found myself writing, after I had stalled it for a while. Looking forward to yours.

  9. Michi, the quote from your post that really moved me was ““If I walk away from this, will I walk away sad in my heart?” What a great thing to remember. I had a hard time with this prompt and wish that I had read yours before writing my own.

    One thing, I would like to share with you 3 blog awards that were given to me by a friend I made through #trust30. f you go to my home page, please copy them from the sidebar and post them on your home page or wherever you like. The trick is that you should think of up to 15 bloggers who you admire and want to pass them to as well. Let me know if you need any help with it (it took me a while to figure it out for myself).

    You have a lovely way with words. I can’t wait to read more from your blog! Miriam

    • Miriam, thanks. To ask that question has really helped me. I will look up the awards and see if I can manage to copy them. Thank you for thinking I should have them on my blog.🙂

      Looking forward to read more of yours!

  10. Brilliant post Michi! I especially like this quote –

    “Fear is part of the human equation, and sometimes is sounds like we shouldn’t have fear, that’s somehow bad to experience fear. It’s not as long as we can look at it as intuitive guidance and not something to fear.”

    So true! Also without fear there would be no need for courage – courage being the highest of principles.

    You showed much courage with your insightful words Michi. As always, I love your openness and honesty.

    Thank you.

    Rich

    • Rich, yes I agree. Courage is the highest of principle. Thank you for your words. They mean a lot to me and are guiding me along my path. I am grateful.

      In’Lakesh

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