five years

The challenge of Day 8, by Corbett Barr: [What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?]

Dear Me, it's me, I am back from the future...

<–rewind

Dear Me, it’s me. I whisper to you from the future. I see you here five years before my time. You’re lost, tired, worn out as a crackled vessel that’s been emptied out of its elixir. You carry pain and inner turmoil. You question everything; yourself, life, love, if you can ever trust anything again because it is all illusions anyway. You feel like you don’t have anything to give. But most of all you question your heart.

So I whisper to you that you are called into a mystery and that is necessary to be empty. I whisper that the darkness and heaviness you feel will change into joy as soon as you learn to let go. You are so strong, stronger than you need to be. You confuse vulnerability with weakness. But I know that you can’t cover up you heart and stand in your truth at the same time.

So I whisper that you will need to live with confusion and darkness, beyond your control and will, for a time. I whisper that it’s of importance that you do, because from this experience you will shine. From this experience I will emerge. You will question what’s happening and be angry about it. You will fight it. But you will surrender to it. Trust me, I know.

You will learn to treasure this time as an alchemical transformation. You will be grateful for its gifts. You will regard this time of your life as a crossroad where you chose to go into the unknown head on and without guarantees. You will be brave about it even if you feel like a coward and a wuss. But the lead you feel will turn to the gold in you. You are an extraordinary and beautiful person with so much to give and share. In time you will see that. In time you will emerge and walk among people again. You will be the same but yet so different.

So hear what I know: You will enter the desert. You will struggle. You will find the treasure you lost. That treasure is you. And I will whisper from afar that I always love you.

–>fastforward

Dear Me, it’s me. I whisper to you from the past. Can you hear me from five years ago? Do you remember where I was? I just wanted to say one thing: I am so proud of who you have become. I want you to know I didn’t regret anything and I am happy that neither do you. You give and you receive. You live your life to the fullest. And I whispered from afar I always loved you.

Comments on: "five years" (6)

  1. Oh this is wonderful. I do not have the words to describe how it made me feel. This post is an inspiration to face our ‘shadow’ and ’emerge’. ‘Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.’
    Peace, Nico

  2. Thank you, Nico. It seems that I write about this process in my posts so far. Maybe because that’s what has been going and goes on within me. At the same time I am ‘surprised’ to see through my own words how much I have actually noticed of my ‘stay’ inside. I didn’t know, until I wrote this post, to what extent I have been and am present to it. And even more how precious it is that what I say about my experience strikes a cord within other people. And what other people say about their thoughts strike a cord within me.

    So let’s fly high whenever we are ready. xo
    /Michi

  3. How can someone else know what I feel and where I’m stuck.
    Are you my twin sister?

    I find it fascinating in experiencing how someone is able to look inside herself and actually see/feel what is going on in there. All I find is darkness.

    In an earlier reply you wrote we’re not so different, as to my assumption before that. Now that I read this post I indeed have to admit we share a lot. We differ in what we see when we look inside ourselves. You see/feel what ‘s going on, and a future. I stare into complete darkness, see no answers and no future. All I get is noise and tears from frustration in being lost for so long.

    The Red Pill was taken without doubt, eager to jump the hole. That was 20 years ago. As soon as I found out what was going on I no longer wanted to participate in extending ‘the Matrix’ any further. But I don’t know how to avoid it with a mortgage and bills to pay. So I must work the Matrix anyhow and don’t see a way out. Pretty much lost here.

    Feel free to ignore my nagging. It kinda helps me to release some pressure.

    Your posts are highly inspirational and I feel somehow connected. Maybe because we’re not that different after all. Hope you don’t mind.

    btw; Awesome picture!!!

    • Warvis, I will not ignore. And I like nagging! (lol)
      No, we are not so different at all. I don’t mind🙂

      xoxo, Michi

  4. Eva von Quitzow said:

    Fantastiskt, Michi! Det här berörde mig väldigt mycket.

    Och din engelska är ju bara helt “outstanding”! Nu ska jag läsa dina andra texter också.

    TACK för att du delar med dig av detta.

    Kram från Eva

    • Åh Eva, vad rörd jag blir av att du läser vad jag skriver. Jag har en gammal dröm att skriva. Jag har väl alltid varit en “storyteller”.
      Detta projekt, #Trust30, är en hyllning till Ralph Waldo Emerson och hans bok Self-Reliance. Jag anmälde mig utan att “tänka”!
      Jobbigt, svårt och fantastiskt spännande. Tack igen för dina fina ord. Det uppmuntrar mig mer än du kan ana.

      Tänk att det finns andra människor som tar till sig det jag skriver. Jag är mållös och känner stor ödmjukhet.

      Kram Eva.

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