dare to be bold

The challenge of Day 7, by Matt Cheuvront [The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue?] 

I could write about my wounds. I could write about my bankruptcy when one of my creative dreams fell apart. I could write about when I, as a single mum, was facing living in my car with my two kids. I could write about when I fell in love again, despite I was convinced that I was better off alone. I could write about how I doubt my self-worth and potential to create anything of significance. I could write about my Dark Night of my Soul. I could write about my envy, my pride, my anger, my resentments and my fear. I could also write about my love, my kids, my passion, my understanding, my imagination, my big heart for anyone who needs me to listen to them. I could write about my dreams and my soul. I have gained and I have lost. I have experienced a lot in my life. Good stuff. Bad stuff. Violent stuff. Fun stuff. Boring stuff. Learning stuff. Unwise stuff. It’s Life.

I started off today writing another answer, a true and sincere story about that I wrestle with my creativity every single day since my production company’s bankruptcy 2003. How I fear that I will lose everything again. But reading the question again, I can’t say one thing I have always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue. I don’t think in terms of accomplishment. I dream and I am not afraid to pursue them. I know what I want. I want to be a writer, filmmaker, photographer and an agent for change for a better world; concocted to one hell of a storyteller. Can I do it? Do I have what it takes? Absolutely. My soul tells me so. And I know that I have to commit to write so and so many words per day; one word at a time.  Am I afraid? Sure. What’s holding me back? I do.

I am redefining myself. I am growing new wings. After my bankruptcy, many were keen to tell my partner and me how unrealistic our dream was. That we should have aimed lower. I listened to that trash talk, adopted that attitude and fell into my black hole and questioned everything about my life and myself. But I am still here; I am still standing, though scarred around the edges, getting ready to rise and shine.

So to write a tangible plan to overcome my obstacles? Well, no thank you very much. I am doing it by participating in Self-Reliance.

But I have an inspirational MANIFESTO to remind myself to never ever again be realistic and never ever regret a thing.

Comments on: "dare to be bold" (6)

  1. Sorry you have been through so much in your life. You are a strong person. Your post was awesome…but your Manifest was beyond awsomeness! Take care!
    Peace, Nico

    • Nico, thank you. I return them to you, as I read your experiences in your life. I think you are very brave and what you are doing is important to those who don’t feel they have a voice about this and to those who don’t know. Thanks and my best to you.

      In’Lakesh, Michi

  2. Though we’ve gone through different types of tough times … I also “fell into my black hole and questioned everything about my life and myself” after a tough time in my life.

    And am now learning how to live boldly again.
    I love this imagery … “I am still standing, though scarred around the edges, getting ready to rise and shine.”

    From what I’ve read of your storytelling/writing … you will make one hell of a storyteller! Rise and shine girl!!

    • Janet, Thank you! It has been a great experience and adventure for me to be part of #Trust30. I see and hear that I am same, but different. We all are. And the posts I have read are so honest, sincere (even if I have to admit that I argue with myself during the day – No, I can’t write that, I have nothing to say…
      And yet, I sit down, I write and I share.

      Your words give me strength and encouragement and I am moved to tears by them. And I am honoured and inspired to have connected with you. To me, you are one hell of a champion, someone to have as a role model. Thank YOU for sharing your story.

      In’Lakesh, Michi

  3. Thank you for this brave post. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to overcome so much, but I keep hearing that us creative types wouldn’t be who we are and able to create without those difficulties. I have faith in you and I know that you will do amazing things. Your dream is still alive, it is maybe just changing forms.

    Lots of love,

    Sezin

    • Sezin, thank you for your presence and compassion. I love these discussions we have. I have been through much, yes, but I don’t feel sorry for myself at all. So many people has experienced hardship, sometimes very brutal ones too.

      I hear that creative people usually carry a lot of painful experiences too. Reading people’s prompts here at #Trust30 show that it’s true. But humans have to be at least somewhat creative to survive. Even to stay ignorant has some strange creativity to it. To search for truth however, demands action in a totally different way, in a total different direction.

      As for my dream and yours, I hope for them to be manifested.
      Love, Michi

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: