The challenge of Day 7, by Matt Cheuvront [The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue?]
I could write about my wounds. I could write about my bankruptcy when one of my creative dreams fell apart. I could write about when I, as a single mum, was facing living in my car with my two kids. I could write about when I fell in love again, despite I was convinced that I was better off alone. I could write about how I doubt my self-worth and potential to create anything of significance. I could write about my Dark Night of my Soul. I could write about my envy, my pride, my anger, my resentments and my fear. I could also write about my love, my kids, my passion, my understanding, my imagination, my big heart for anyone who needs me to listen to them. I could write about my dreams and my soul. I have gained and I have lost. I have experienced a lot in my life. Good stuff. Bad stuff. Violent stuff. Fun stuff. Boring stuff. Learning stuff. Unwise stuff. It’s Life.
I started off today writing another answer, a true and sincere story about that I wrestle with my creativity every single day since my production company’s bankruptcy 2003. How I fear that I will lose everything again. But reading the question again, I can’t say one thing I have always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue. I don’t think in terms of accomplishment. I dream and I am not afraid to pursue them. I know what I want. I want to be a writer, filmmaker, photographer and an agent for change for a better world; concocted to one hell of a storyteller. Can I do it? Do I have what it takes? Absolutely. My soul tells me so. And I know that I have to commit to write so and so many words per day; one word at a time. Am I afraid? Sure. What’s holding me back? I do.
I am redefining myself. I am growing new wings. After my bankruptcy, many were keen to tell my partner and me how unrealistic our dream was. That we should have aimed lower. I listened to that trash talk, adopted that attitude and fell into my black hole and questioned everything about my life and myself. But I am still here; I am still standing, though scarred around the edges, getting ready to rise and shine.
So to write a tangible plan to overcome my obstacles? Well, no thank you very much. I am doing it by participating in Self-Reliance.
But I have an inspirational MANIFESTO to remind myself to never ever again be realistic and never ever regret a thing.